“Gather up your tears, keep ‘em in your pocket, save them for a time when your really gonna need them”

It has come as a huge surprise to me in the past year how very little I cry anymore when sad things are happening or I am going through something tough.  I start to think, maybe I have just gotten a lot stronger.  Maybe all of these years of trials have really hardened me into a sturdier rock.  Someone less breakable.  But then I get a second notion.  Perhaps it is not that I have become terribly strong, but that instead I have already let too many tears leak out, as if I am allotted a particular amount for my lifetime, and   the temporary dryness is merely a result that the amount I have left must be saved for actual sad times, times when I will really need them in the future, and that these times although they sometimes feel like a ball-and-chain with the ocean rising above me are merely not the magnitude worthy of the precious water I have left.  A reminder that in fact these times, while tough, are only a moment in the desert and not the pain that could truly be.

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